When Parents Aren't Supportive....

A subject I've been feeling the need to blog about lately is when parents aren't supportive of your pregnancy. It's a bit of a painful subject, but one I want to address because of the impact it has on pregnancy.

I didn't have my parents support with my last pregnancy. I was stationed over 2000 miles away from them and my baby's father at the time was deployed. I reached out to my mother, but because of my lifestyle at the time (I had just gotten divorced, my pregnancy was unexpected and with someone I wasn't married to), she wasn't thrilled with me, and kept a distance. Communication was through Facebook and not often. My father and I have had a rocky relationship for the last...well, ever, so he and I weren't talking.

I wanted my mother there for the birth of my last son, like she'd been for my other two, but she came up with an excuse and said she couldn't. It upset me at the time, scared me too, but I figured she didn't want to because of my situation. As I often have found in my life, I was sitting smack dab in the middle of an ungodly lifestyle, even though going into a situation I have good intentions.

I ended up birthing at home with a good friend, read my story Here.

This time around, I'm not even sure my parents know I'm pregnant. I haven't talked to either of them in over a year.

I've noticed I miss my mom the most when I'm pregnant. It's one of those things that typically is shared and experienced between mother and daughter. Daughter calls mother for emotional support and questions...to share aches and pains and frustrations, and then at the end, to share joy...then there's sharing growing moments of the grandchildren...a lot of life is missed out on with the canyon of bad communication between us.

How I've handled not having parents is focusing on positive things in my life. It is a MUST. I also have been very blessed to have other people in my life who see me for me.


I want to encourage you if you are in a situation where your parents aren't supportive, to let it go and forgive. Being unforgiving affects the body and the spirit. What affects the body and spirit can have an impact on the labor and delivery of the baby. My fear of birthing without my mom ended up adding to my being 2 weeks late. Once I let go of my fears and my frustration, things progressed. Where a woman is at psychologically impacts her body, especially during pregnancy.

Hope

Take the time to look for support during pregnancy. This is especially important if you find yourself dwelling daily on the pain of not having your parent's support. With online resources, there's lots of places to look! Support groups, blogs, forums, discussions, fellow pregnant people in your neighborhood. There are plenty of people out there who believe a baby is beautiful blessing no matter the circumstances of his/her origin!

Reading other women's stories about overcoming major obstacles in their pregnancies can also help encourage and give you strength and confidence! I know this really helped for me.

I personally did rely on my faith and belief in God. This helped me the most. Sometimes if you have nothing else to hold onto, holding on to God won't seem so far fetched. I'm not saying use Him as a last resort, but if you have nothing else, what do you have to lose? In God you can find a safe source of strength and trust because He won't let you down, even when your parents will.

Taking a chance and giving Him that trust has been the best decision of my life. It has given me confidence, strength and the ability to handle situations I never thought I'd be able to. Plus, He's helped me forgive and release bitterness and anger toward my parents without needing them to do anything on their part. To truly and honestly stand up and say "I'm healing!" and have a sense of unconditional love toward them is not something that can be done without the help of His grace!

Perhaps you have a similar situation where your parents have wronged you or hurt you immeasurably and you truly believe there will never be healing, so you walk around with a hole in your heart. Just know as impossible as it seems, there is hope, and nothing is impossible for Him.

Embrace the unknown. Release your fears and doubts. Having peace and confidence will strengthen you in your pregnancy and ultimately will help you have a smooth labor and delivery.

God bless you and keep you strong in this emotional yet beautiful journey of pregnancy!

~~Caroleena